Yesterday was my grandmother’s birthday (I know, I know. I am still bloggin’ about her). It was also the day I awoke from a very disturbing dream, in which a girl (who looked very much like someone I fancied in high school) told me, “I would like to be your friend, but my mother said that if I am friend’s with you, I’m going to hell.” Hmm. Now, I can choose to remember yesterday as the day I had the bad dream….or I can remember yesterday as the day I did my trial run at LUSH! (I think it’s obvious the choice I’m going to make) If you are unfamiliar with this store, here is a link to their website: www.lush.com .
Yesterday wasn’t as overwhelming as I anticipated, but I did anticipate something (which is why I was awake at 4am believe it or not). Could it have been that I was worried about the Visa Application I was filling out? Or the fact that next week, I will be venturing down to London to meet with agents so I can further my career in this field in which so many people think they can “make it?” Was I thinking about the show I’m going to be doing at the end of the month or the fact that I have not made any money this month to pay my rent? The answer to all of the inqueries above is a resounding “yes!” My thoughts have been focused on survival lately. Were they not focused before? Well, yes, and no. But the weight of the “yes” is heavier than that of the” no.”
Before I walked into LUSH yesterday with my black and white (the required) ensemble, ready to fill customers heads with new ideas about why they should purchase soaps made from natural products as opposed to Dial or Zest, I’d been spending a lot of time just thinking about my next step. Granted, many people know that during that “thinking” period (which lasted about 2 weeks) I was lucky enough to be a dancing extra on the British MOBO Awards (after which I attended one of the best after-party events I’ve ever gone to in my life thus far) and I worked behind the scenes for the Royal Scottish Variety show as an “Artist Liason” (…basically I chaperoned the artists and made sure they had their tea or whiskey, or –insert random request here– if they asked). The opportunities were great ones for resumes and other things you put on paper. But the truth of the matter was I wasn’t making any paper myself. No, instead, I was trying to figure out ways to get my life in order.
I finally (after years of not having one) made a work CV. (My Theatre CV is already done and up-to-date) I stayed up until 4am creating the CV as well as a letterhead to match it and now I have something I think is worth sending out. Some of my readers will be receiving samples of it in the mail soon enough. So the questions that many of you have is…well what were you doing before you ended up doing paperwork? I was finishing my school work…for the last time ever!
I finished the Musical Theatre Performance Course here at the RSAMD on the 17th of September with a showcase that, I feel, showed me off quite well. Singing “Azure Te” (sung formerly by Nat King Cole) and performing a scene from “Rabbit Hole” (written by Milton Academy alumni David Linsday-Abaire), I couldn’t go wrong. From what I’m feeling in my gut, I know that I haven’t. I just say to those of you who have been waiting to hear from me…the fact that I am finally finished with academia still hasn’t hit me yet. (Maybe because our graduation isn’t until November) All in all, however, I have my Master’s now. What’s even better is that I have a Master’s in an area of study that I chose and did not have forced upon me. I was supported by a myriad of different people and so many people kept in touch along the way. This isn’t the end of my journey, by no means. Instead, it begins after next week’s meetings with Agents 1, 2, 3, and 4. (I am not naming anyone right now as I would rather notify everyone once the final decision has been made.) But what else is to begin after next week? The answer to that question is still in the running to be Tommy Coleman’s Next Top Answer!
For a second time in my life, I am going to be forced to just ride the wave and see where it takes me (for those of you who aren’t artists, I must inform you, this is what we artists do; ride waves of hope). This is going to mean that I will be broke for long period of time (to my family, this is not me being facetious. This is just a fact, I want you all to know. Sponsorship would be greatly appreciated), and it also means that LUSH (if I am successful) may be my only job for a while, until I can start teaching hip-hop classes or teaching drama classes even. I’ll be riding down a bumpy road until…somewhere along the way, I make a right turn and end up on a freshly paved street. Luckily, I’ve been hurt in more ways than one (so I can check “pain” off on my list), I’ve lost some loved ones and friends already (can check off “resilience”), and I’ve survived with help from the woman who loves me most (my mother, of course) and my family.
Only a year ago I started this journey to Scotland and I’m at the end of it….triumphant. I didn’t fail and most importantly, I did what I intended to do…I followed through! So why not follow through with the rest of my life? Therefore, I’m gonna take this ride of uncertainty. Am I scared of what’s next? Well….certainly!